It’s been about ten years since I first learned to bypass the Great Firewall. Since then, I’ve lived a “privacy-first” lifestyle, barely using Chinese social platforms and never posting photos online. However, I’ve noticed some changes in myself over the past two years.
That first experience of “climbing the wall” ten years ago was like a sledgehammer that shattered my understanding of the internet. The world beyond the Great Firewall fascinated me: freedom of speech, human rights, privacy - these concepts were like enticing candies that made me despise everything domestic.
I went to an extreme back then. I never used domestic keyboard softwares and tried to avoid Chinese social apps as much as possible. I always felt that they were secretly collecting data, that I had nothing in common with their users, and that my thinking was somehow superior. Only maintaining this paranoia made me feel somewhat secure. This continued for so long that people around me thought I was obsessed, as I always questioned their choices from a position of superiority.
Things changed around May 2020. While I was comfortably despising almost everything about this country, some people were sacrificing their lives to protect this land. After this incident, I realized that, there is no perfect country. Even the “all-mighty“ United States has unsolvable social issues: random shootings, racist, and “woke mind.”
The reality has proven even more complex. While I once idealized western social media platforms, I’ve witnessed how Twitter and Instagram have devolved into chaos under the banner of “free speech“. The social discourse has become increasingly polarized, with extreme LGBT activism and woke culture often drowning out reasonable voices. The very platforms that promised freedom of expression have become echo chambers of extremism.
Ironically, I used to think I was tolerant.
The real world is intricate, especially in this AI-dominated era where anything posted online could become training data. Being overly concerned about privacy might only make life more difficult. This isn’t about giving up, but finding balance. I started trying 抖音 (Chinese version of Tiktok), 小红书 (Chinese version of Instagram), WeChat keyboard, and reading Chinese books. Honestly, it wasn’t terrible. I didn’t get addicted to 抖音，but my bonds with friends grew stronger. I gave WeChat keyboard full access, but it has an offline mode and works more efficiently than iOS’s default keyboard. As for books, well, still don’t love reading them 🤷♂️. This doesn’t mean I’ve suddenly become a “oh I love my country“ person - Baidu is still terrible, the Wall still exists, and various social issues persist, but now I choose to face them rather than avoid them.
I’m not sure if my change is for the better, but I’m certainly more clear-headed than I was in my first 27 years.